From the Editor's Desk: I lose either way

Second Life Live Music Review
Written by Enniv Zarf (RL: Paul Kwo)
Metaverse Music

I hope everyone knows that I am not doing this for my own satisfaction cause I lose no matter what I write. (I'm writing this and then going back to reviewing. I took yesterday slower cause I got caught up with a few controversies that came about from my writing. I'm also having trouble with stream so I probably have to restart my computer to get it to work - it didn't and now I have to really figure out what's wrong. I also promise this will be one of my last rants for a while and really focus back on the music. I just need to have this here so I point anyone who have issues with me to just read this. They can do what they will after.)

First of all, I'm not jealous about anyone or anything in Second Life. I'm doing this out of my love of it, cause I love SL Music. Honestly not to boast or anything, but I'm on national TV and on major network TV shows and working on major blockbuster films. I am not jealous about anyone or anything in Second Life. Nothing to be jealous about. To me Second Life is a way to grow as an artist. It's a way to become better. It is however not a bubble to put ourselves in free form the rest of the world. I do not at all buy into the I'm in Second Life not Real Life so I get to live in a bubble. There is no such thing. If you want to live in a bubble, do something that involves no other human beings.

Second I am not out to get anyone. I lose either way with every review I write. I write a good review about someone, there are bound to be people who will get upset because I said he's good. I write a bad review about someone, there are bound to people who will get upset because I said he's bad. I don't win. There's no winning for me either way. I hope you all know that.

I only say what I observed. Observation is what it all is. Know what a review is, it's observations. Reviewers and critics observed and write what they observed. Artists should take it and leave it at that. And no you won't agree with everything that I observed but that doesn't mean I didn't observe them. What you should do is to see why I saw what I saw.

Do you know how many times I've been told myself I sound like...

...so and so. I have been told I sound like Keith Jarret and George Winston, both of whom I have never heard of before someone told me. I went and checked them out on itunes and online to see what they sound like. I don't think I sound like them in totality, and wasn't directly influenced by them. But perhaps somewhere down my musical journey I may have crossed something of theirs inadvertently and then somehow it got fused in. Or maybe I independently arrived at some of those similar ideas.

I've also been told who I look like and how I act like. I've been told I looked like an Asian version of Conan O'Brian. I am not even sure how to take that. But instead of getting upset or angry or whatever I ask myself why did they say that. What about me coveyed that. Is that something I want to continue to portray myself as? Is that something that really is a big deal? It's only as big of a deal as I make it. When I mention that to people, some of them would say oh yeah I can see that and tell me it's because I'm kinda tall, lanky and a little awkwardly quirky. Then I go, ah, so that's what it means to be an Asian version of Conan O'Brian. I learned something there.

I've even been told once when I performed something at an audition by the casting director I acted like someone I had no real idea is at all. In fact I can't even remember that name of the reference. I want to cause that's how I learn. I learn from understanding other people's observations of what I do both good and bad.

A wonderful drama teacher once told me, whenever someone gives you a critic, it's an observation and take it as that. They are neither right nor wrong, it's their observation. It has nothing to do with accuracy if I said he sounded like so and so and I heard such and such as long as I really did hear that. You don't have to agree with me. It's not meant as a compliment or an insult. It's just what it is, an observation.

So in the end I just want to say I lose either way. Every musician has supportive fans and jealous fans of their rivals I walked into this knowing this but why am I still doing this? I love Second Life Live Music and I am not jealous. Absolutely nothing to be jealous about. I know what I do and I know those who like me will like me. I also do know that I have a lot to lose cause I can turn off potential fans who may like my music if I didn't write something bad about someone they loved.

I don't want to ruin anyone. I want people to improv. Use those Second Looks and invite me back once you've improved. If you are serious about your music, that would be the thing to do. We are in a closed off environment. This is your chance to learn and grow and get some honest feedback. Trust me you fans are not telling you the truth, and they won't no matter how hard you try to pry it out of them. They feel supporting you is to tell you that you're amazing. I'm supporting you by telling you what you need to hear so you get your act better and move up and get more fans.

I don't want people to live in a bubble when it comes to their music. It's not safe. Every bubble burst. Mine was busted soon after high school and it hurts. There is truth to the higher you are the harder you fall. If you really love the artists you support, perhaps a little reality check once in a while isn't all that bad. The reality is the world is a huge place, there's a lot of music out there that puts even the best of us in here to shame. I point out everything here that I observe so everyone knows who they are and what they do and do them well. That's how you succeed in real life. It's really hard, and I had a lot of trouble doing that and am still working on it. It's a lifelong process really but very important. Know thyself everyone.